Former England leader Lewis Moody has announced he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet face the full consequences of the muscle-deteriorating condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was part of the World Cup champion 2003 side and won multiple English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after learning he has the condition.
"There's an element of looking the future in the face and being reluctant to really process that at the minute," he commented.
"It's not that I fail to comprehend where it's progressing. We grasp that. But there is definitely a unwillingness to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, talking with his wife Annie, explains rather he feels "peaceful" as he focuses on his present welfare, his family and planning ahead for when the condition deteriorates.
"Perhaps that's shock or perhaps I deal with matters differently, and after I have the facts, it's simpler," he added.
Early Symptoms
Moody discovered he had MND after detecting some lack of strength in his shoulder while exercising in the gym.
After rehabilitation didn't help the condition, a series of scans showed nerves in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You receive this condition identification of MND and we're rightly quite moved about it, but it's so strange because I feel like I'm perfectly healthy," he remarked.
"I don't experience sick. I don't experience unwell
"The signs I have are quite slight. I have some muscle loss in the fingers and the shoulder.
"I'm still capable of doing anything and everything. And with luck that will continue for as long as is feasible."
Condition Advancement
MND can advance rapidly.
According to the charity MND Association, the disease claims a third of people within a twelve months and over half within 730 days of diagnosis, as swallowing and breathing become more difficult.
Therapy can only retard worsening.
"It's never me that I am upset for," stated an emotional Moody.
"It's about the sorrow around having to break the news to my mum - as an only child - and the ramifications that has for her."
Family Impact
Talking from the family home with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overcome with sentiment when he spoke about breaking the news to his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the heartbreaking news, saying: "It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two excellent boys and that was pretty devastating," Moody stated.
"We positioned ourselves on the couch in crying, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog jumped over and began removing the moisture off our faces, which was quite amusing."
Moody stated the focus was remaining in the moment.
"There exists no solution and that is why you have to be extremely intensely concentrated on just welcoming and enjoying each moment now," he commented.
"According to Annie, we've been really fortunate that the only real decision I made when I left playing was to spend as much duration with the kids as possible. We can't reclaim those times back."
Player Association
Top-level sportspeople are unevenly affected by MND, with investigations indicating the prevalence of the disease is up to 600% greater than in the wider community.
It is considered that by limiting the O2 available and producing damage to motor neurone cells, regular, vigorous exercise can activate the disease in those inherently vulnerable.
Athletic Playing Days
Moody, who gained 71 England selections and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in honour of his fearless, relentless method to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a time with Leicester and once initiated a workout altercation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he abandoned a practice gear and began throwing himself into collisions.
After coming on as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the rear of the throw-in in the crucial passage of play, setting a platform for playmaker Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to score the match-winning field goal.
Support System
Moody has earlier told Johnson, who skippered England to that title, and a handful of other former players about his diagnosis, but the remaining individuals will be learning his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a period when we'll need to depend on their support but, at the moment, just having that type of love and acknowledgment that people are there is all that matters," he stated.
"Rugby is such a wonderful community.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even should it concluded now, I've enjoyed all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you have the opportunity to consider your passion your career, it's one of the greatest honors.
"To have done it for so considerable a time with the groups that I did it with was a delight. And I am aware they will want to support in whatever way they can and I look forward to having those discussions."
